Here’s some bittersweet news: Waffle House has announced that they’re taking reservations for Valentine’s Day… and while this does sound incredibly kickass, you gotta think it’s a PLOY to make as many couples fight as possible.
Damn, Waffle House… Like, of course the Dude Pack is gonna want Waffle House… but if we actually do this, the Dude Pack is gonna get some serious shit for it! You think any partner in the world is gonna be excited to roll up to a Waffle House on V-Day? Why even make it an option? Are you mad at the Dude Pack or something?
According to Waffle House, not every location will participate in the promotion, but more than 200 restaurants around the country will be…
Per Sarasota Magazine, one of these participating Waffle Houses is in Punta Gorda, Florida, where general manager Dave Robbins is ready to spruce up the place something special: the tables will be decorated with black tablecloths and napkins and the lights will be dimmed. Then there’s the food… the dinner menu is a $20 prix fixe situation, with your choice of a T-bone steak, a pork chop or a chicken entrée, plus bread, a salad, and a waffle dessert.
And while the restaurant doesn’t have a liquor license, patrons will get a complimentary flute of sparkling grape juice (and you could probably sneak in your own BYOB stuff, too). Additionally, a photo booth will be set up for you to record your night out.
Eaaaaasssy Dude Pack… this is a trap! It has to be! Do NOT fall for it!
Alright, you know what, we don’t trust you, Dude Pack. We think you’re naive enough to think this would actually be a good idea. So, to help you, we’re gonna rattle off a couple of other similar-ish places to eat on Valentine’s Day that’ll get you in less trouble:
Please Do These Other Similar Options Instead Of Going To Waffle House (We’re Looking Out For You, Man!)
1. Cook A Waffle At Home
If you’re really deadset on eating waffles on V-Day, this is your best bet. You’re still definitely gonna get some shit for wanting to eat waffles for dinner instead of, like, steak or something, but at least you won’t be sitting in a Waffle House. That’s a W already.
2. Olive Garden
Olive Garden is not ostensibly similar to Waffle House in its cuisine, decor, or general vibe — except, that is, for the fact that Olive Garden is also a pretty shitty restaurant. Well, maybe not shitty-shitty. It’s just that, similar to Waffle House, there are millions of better restaurants you could go where the same kinds of food are offered, but everything’s just nicer. So in that sense, Olive Garden is kind of close to Waffle House, but will surely piss off your partner less than Waffle House would.
In conclusion, that’s all the ideas we got for now. Of course, we could sit here and tee off on tons of other good ideas if there was time, but I don’t have time right now. In any event, here’s to hoping the Dude Pack takes our advice and stays away from Waffle House this V-Day! It’s too good to be true! Trust us! You WILL get yelled at for it!