World Mourns Today After Realizing Larry King Wasn’t Already Dead

by Staff Writer
Wasn't already dead until now

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – It’s a very sad day in the Men’s Humor office, where we’d often pass videos around of Larry King being funny as shit. You know, from way back when he was still alive. Turns out we didn’t actually have to refer to his life in the past-tense, until today. If his many years of on-air savagery are any indication, we imagine he’s already roasting the hell out of heaven. Larry always got to the damn point, like the time he cut straight through DJ Khaled’s bullshit, getting right to what we really want to know.

Really Dead, For Real

King’s son, Chance, confirmed Larry died at 87 on Saturday morning at Cedars-Sinai, where all celebrities in L.A. go to die. Seriously, when you read Cedars-Sinai in the news, is it ever because Jamie Foxx’s sinus infection cleared up after being prescribed antibiotics? There’s even a whole section of Wikipedia dedicated to all your favorite celebrities this hospital has murdered. No one warned Larry? We would have if we were friends and didn’t think he was already dead.

"I wasn't already dead, you idiots. But I will be in a few minutes. See ya later."
Larry waves goodbye minutes before dying.
© Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports

Worthy Of Being Named King

Larry King was undeniably influential, an absolute trail-blazer in the live-interview format. Most inspiring to us, however, was the absolute lack of effort he’d put into preparation and still come out the champ. We wish our lack of effort produced even a sliver of this level of success. In honor of Larry, we’ll keep (not) trying. Just watch this clip from his infamous interview with Jerry Seinfeld, where he lets things go right to the edge of implosion before reigning it back in.

See? Effortless. Why can’t we be this lazy while also having our parents finally be proud of us?
Rest in peace, Larry. You were already dead in our minds, but will live on in our hearts.

Check Out Everyone Who Thought He Was Already Dead

See our headline wasn’t a joke! RIP Larry… again.