Surfer Sacrilege: Man Rides Massive Wave On SKIS Instead Of Surfboard


Something awful has happened at Mavericks, one of California’s most famous Big Wave spots. If you’re a surfer, prepare to get so mad that you crack your board in half over your knee: surfer Chuck Patterson rode a gorgeous 40-foot tall swell on SKIS instead of a surfboard.

Clearly, this crosses a line. Using skis—and POLES—on a behemoth wave is like mixing Diet Coke with a fine-aged wine. It shows a stunning lack of respect and taste. In the event that Chuck Patterson gets the shit kicked out of him for disrespecting the sport of surfing, don’t be surprised.

Check it out below.

Wow. Unfortunately, a shark did not leap out of the water and bite Chuck’s blasphemous ass off. What a disgraceful offense to the game and all who devote their lives to it. As you can see, the wave tried as hard as it could to crush Chuck under the sheer might of its surge, but it was unable to catch up to the blasphemer.

Hey Chuck: is surfing a fucking joke to you? Are you TRYING to provoke other surfers to whack you to death with their boards? If so, you’re doing a great job.

Is this surfer trying to send a message?

Waves like that are once-in-a-lifetime opportunities for some surfers. And Chuck shit all over that opportunity. At a certain point, you have to wonder something deeper than simple contempt for the spot.

Chuck Patterson on riding a wave with skis instead of a surfboard via Giphy

Chuck’s insolence transcends the bounds of rudeness. He is waging philosophical warfare on the sport of surfing.

Simply put, this is a major bummer. What an awful way to start the morning. Here’s a brighter story to clear your palette.