Norwegians are weird as hell. There’s no other way to say it. Nonetheless, we love them for it, and we’re here for all the insane stuff they do and say. A person named Mats Iversen over at Bored Panda knows all about the bizarre phrases that Norwegians use on the regular, and illustrated these idioms to help us understand what Scandinavians are on about.
Scroll Down To See 16 Illustrated Norwegian Idioms That We Still Don’t Understand
See what we mean? Even when translated and illustrated, we still have ZERO clue what Scandinavians are ever talking about. Look, God bless ’em for it, but man, these people are fucking aliens.
“A Slow Cheese”
Imagine saying this in America. You would get your ass kicked so hard. You’d basically get murdered for being weird. But in Norway? People would smile and understand this nonsense. Good for them, we guess.
“Owls In The Moss”
Owls in the moss? Hmm. Yeah, no, that makes no god damn sense at all to a normal person. But to a Scandinavian person? It’s as natural to say as anything. Thanks but no thanks, you guys can keep this idiom.
We like this one. Credit where credit is due. Cough Pig fucking rules. It gets across the sentiment of Couch Potato but with a sliver of insult along the way. We’re taking this one, Norwegians. Thank you. Your weirdness paid off this time.
“Gold and Green Forests”
Alright we’re back to the nonsense. This one sucks. Sorry Norwegians, you struck out there.
Interesting. Their impression of Texas is way out of whack. Texas is crazy like 5% of the time, and the rest is just like overpasses, rundown water towers, and elderly people who spend 6 hours a day loitering in a Dairy Queen. Mostly boring, no doubt. Swing-and-a-miss, Nords.
What in the FUCK are you talking about, Norwegians? What on God’s green earth are you on about with this idiom?! Keep this shit away from me.
Alright, back to the Pig idioms. Not a good idiom in itself, but the sentiment is pretty sick. Some people are just fucking space hogs, dude. Norwegians do seem to understand that concept, and have no qualms about calling those people pigs. That’s honestly awesome.
Every time the Nords come up with a somewhat cool idiom like “Environmental Pig” they immediately follow it with the dumbest shit you’ve ever heard. My god. This one is fucking stupid.
This is a relatable problem, but the idiom is weak. Really not a fan of this one. Sheet Fright sounds dumb. Next.
Jesus Christ. There are just so many better things you can say to someone to insult their intelligence. So, so many. This one is pretty pathetic.
“The More Cooks, The Bigger The Mess”
Try “Too Many Cooks In The Kitchen,” Nords. It’s better than this one. Better luck with the next one, because this is not improving your status as Fuckin’ Weird in our eyes.
It’s called a RAT, Norway. A NO-GOOD FUCKING SNITCH. Imagine telling your mafia boss that you’ve found a Gossip Hook in your crew. You would get your dick blown off with a shotgun by your Capo. Don’t EVER use this term in America.
Absolute. Fucking. Nonsense. We’re omitting Norway from our bucket list of places to travel to, solely for this idiom. God damn.
We’re done. We’re fucking done with this. Scandinavians need to be put in their place when they say shit like this. No fucking way we’re letting this slide. Fuck off with this bullshit. Jesus Christ, man.
“Tight In The Cardboard”
Yeah, this idiom fucking sucks. No bones about it.
Man, we had some hope for cool shit when we saw Couch Pig and Environmental Pig, but the rest of this just depressing. Scandinavians, you need to check yourselves when you say this bullshit. Step back and think about how the rest of the world is going to feel when they hear it. Because I guarantee you, the rest of the world is thinking, “god damn, that country is weird.”
Check out Mats Iversen’s Instagram page here!