Lawyers are often badasses. Just think about the way that they say “I object!” That’s epic. But today, we have a list of lawyers who were collectively shaking their heads when their clients decided to ruin the case for them. Check out these seven epic fails below, as told by real lawyers.
7. The Underwear Fail
“He’s been cheating on me! I found underwear that wasn’t mine in his car.”
“Hold on! There was no underwear!”
“Yes, there was! And it was plus sized. As you can see, I’m not a plus sized lady.”
“First of all, they weren’t plus sized and second-“
Judge “Wait. I thought you said there was no underwear”
“oh……umm…. It flew in from the window?”
Divorce court is hilarious.
6. Don’t Bring A Joint To Court
The guy brought a joint with him and told a judge he has a joint in his pocket and doesn’t give a damn what will happen. Case lost, have a nice day
5. Threatening The Judge Is NOT The Move
“Judge, I’m going to sue you once this is done.”
4. The Ol’ Cocaine In The Sock Trick
The guy was passenger of a car that was stopped by the police. Everything was fine with the driver. But this guy behaved strange, had huge pupils and a rest of white powder under his nose. Got searched and they found a small bag of cocaine in one of his socks. His defense: It isn’t mine, I’ve never seen this bag before! Brilliant defense…
3. You Can’t Lie Under Oath
Client insisted on testifying as to her efforts toward rehabilitation since her relapse/positive meth test 6 months before. We went over her testimony for some time before she took the stand. To get to it, I asked “what is your sobriety date?” Expected answer “six month ago date.” Actual answer she gave “last Friday.” My jaw dropped. Judge: “counsel do you have anymore questions for you client concerning her newly found sobriety?” “No your honor.”
After court the client told me she lied to me in our many conversations but couldn’t lie after going under oath. Sigh
2. Sit On Your Ass, Son!
Not a lawyer, but I was waiting in court to give my buddy a ride home after his dui sentencing. The guy who went up before him got sentenced to 60 days in county lockup. The idiot goes “whatever, I can do 60 days standing on my head.” The judge says “alright, then you can have another 60 for sitting on your ass, 120 days”.
1. I Should Have Stabbed You When I Had The Chance
I wasn’t there myself but I have heard of at least one instance in a divorce case where the man was accusing his soon-to-be ex-wife of domestic abuse.
Her way of proving him wrong was to try to attack him in court and yell (as she was being restrained) “I should have stabbed you when I had the chance!”
Man these people are crazy!