If you were considering injecting the COVID-19 vaccine into your penis, think again. According to Newshub New Zealand, a clearly photoshopped graphic has been circulating the web, and alleging that the coronavirus vaccination works best if directly injected into the side of your penis.
Unfortunately, I, your humble author, only learned that the graphic was a fabrication after I’d already followed its advice. I can confirm from my own personal experience that the graphic’s claim is not true. In fact, beyond being ineffective, it is also painful, and results in an enormously expensive trip to the E.R. Hopefully you’re seeing this news sooner than I did.
Check out the doctored photo that tricked me into mutilating my genitals below.
Who Is The Doctor In The Photo?
The physician above is none other than Dr. Mohitkumar Ardeshana, who works as a hormone therapy doctor from Biote Medical’s Claremont Medical Center in California. He told Boom Live that “it is a work of mischief” and “completely fake.”
Well, that’s a relief to hear for everyone but me.
Is BIGMAN okay?
No. Far from it. After injecting my penis with what I thought was the COVID-19 vaccine (turns out the vial was full of deer pheromones, sold to me by my older brother as a prank), my penis immediately began to convulse and throb with pain. Minutes later, as I was on the phone with the hospital, I passed out from the agony, and hit my head on the toilet. I woke up to find several big bucks in my bathroom (they jumped through my living room window), fighting over my penis, tearing it to shreds in the process. The commotion caused such a loud noise that my entire neighborhood had come to see what was going on. They witnessed this scene, and only laughed.
It was the most humiliating moment of my life.
Well, it just goes to show the importance of checking sources before following the advice of a picture you saw on the internet. Take it from me.