Kid Gets His Ass Handed To Him By A Cold Pole

by Danny Tornado

ZAOZHUANG, CHINA – Maybe this kid isn’t familiar with a little movie called Dumb and Dumber, because if he was, he would NEVER have put himself in the position to get his ass humiliated by a cold pole. A new video published by the New York Post shows a kid in Zaozhuang China engaging in some good old epic frozen tongue failure.

You can’t put your tongue on a frickin’ pole, dog. Not when it’s 3° Fahrenheit!

He immediately realizes he fucked up. Just like Harry did in the scene below.

The 15 year old takes out his phone and snaps a pic for posterity (lol, ya gotta, bro) before calling for help. He definitely kind of knew what he was doing. Apparently he’d seen a Christmas story, or heard of it happening. The absolutely hilarious thing is the friend he’d called to help him out couldn’t understand him (because, you know, his tongue was stuck to a pole) and hung up. Uh oh, dude! Someone didn’t think this all the way through! But that’s the way you gotta be when you’re curious and down to live life on the edge. We commend you, kid!

Fortunately a shop owner saw what was going on and graciously came to the rescue. Maybe this happens enough at this particular pole that the shop owner knew exactly what to do. The proprietor brought a cup of warm water! Kindly, they poured it on his tongue instead of splashing it on his jeans or something.

Progress Requires Risking It All On A Cold Pole

Who know the teenagers of China’s Shandong province were so brave? Sure, he made a friggin’ FOOL of himself and looked like a dang tool, but also we support testing the boundaries of what’s possible! Where would we be without such great adventurers? Someone had to be the first person to taste tree sap, you know? Someone had to figure out how to make cheese. You gotta take big risks to get big rewards. For this kid, the reward was 15 minutes of ridiculous internet fame. Was it worth it? Sure, why not.

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