It's cool to vote but don't be a show-off!
How often have you tried being smooth and seductive but ended up regretting the move? Well, a Redditor tried to charm her husband by sticking 'I Voted' stickers on her nipples and the stupid move was regrettable, in her own words.
She posted her hilarious story on the internet and it's just too amusing to not read. She wrote: "This happened just a few hours ago. Using my actual account because my husband will know it’s me and there’s no way around this embarrassment. Hi sweetie."
She added: "On with the fuck up. It’s my first time voting and I’m dropping off my ballot. I’m thinking about how nice it is that I did my part as a citizen, and oooohhh stickers! I took more than one and I noticed the large circle was about the same size as my areolas. The wheels in my head start to turn. I get home and strip all my clothes off. I’m feeling quite patriotic as I censor my teets with these sticky knockoff nipple covers."
She continues: "While my husband is on the phone, I lift up my bra to show off my work. He makes a face. I know this face. I’m reeling him in. I push a little further. I squeeze them together, wiggle them a little, and do whatever necessary to get the D. He hangs up the phone and gives in to my tempting ways. I start to go down on him for a while. Then I move to give him a taste of what’s underneath the sticker. I start to peel it off. FUUUUCK." One can hear her pain, can't one
She wrote: "That shit is STUCK on there. Trying to keep a brave face, I lift it again, but the sticker has latched on to my nipples like a baby. Should I rip it off like a bandaid? Sweet lady liberty NO! Ladies, do not rip anything off your nipples. Actually, take my advice and don’t be stupid enough to put stickers on your nips in the first place. I end up hopping in a hot shower praying they come off. One of them rips in the middle down my nipple. When I pull on both, my nipple is stretch sideways almost bringing me to tears. After taking the time to slowly lift it, it finally comes off. I will now treat them extra special and put oil on them or something. Never again. Not even to get dicked down."
She concluded by saying: "The foredaddies of this country, would be ashamed." Now, one may think being political is sexy but let's not show-off, shall we?