After her last concussion, she forgot her partner and her daughter. But she did not give up and is grateful for the life she has today despite her injury.
Our memories connect us with the world and the people in our lives. But what if we lose our memory? We'd feel lost, abandoned, and utterly alone even among our loved ones as they'd suddenly become strangers to us.
Nesh Pillay is not alien to this feeling because of her neurological disorder.
Pillay, who goes by @pillay.nesh on TikTok, shared a video about how she began losing her memory and doctors were confused. The 32-year-old young mom had met with an unfortunate car accident in South Africa when she was nine. After the accident, frequent concussions occurred because she suffered severe head injuries.
A plastic surgeon treated her head injury at the time and all was good. But, over the years, she noticed that a slight bump on her head would result in a concussion, leading to memory loss. Finally, in October 2022, after banging her head somewhere, she lost all memory of her partner and her six-year-old daughter.
The original video was posted a while back and garnered over 587k views and 94k likes. Pillay, who reposted the video for her new followers, told Newsweek: "At the time, not a lot was known about traumatic brain injuries. But over the years, I have had quite a few concussions, and as time goes on, it takes less and less of a bump for you to get a concussion—and every time my symptoms are worse and worse."
Pillay is a former journalist, and her sudden head bump which happened last year shocked her and her family. She recalls telling people that she banged her head but cannot recall the exact details of it.
She added, "My neurologist thinks I probably had some sort of minor bump and that I may have had some seizures following that."
She took a quick nap but felt extremely unwell. "Then, over the course of a couple of hours, I lost my memory. By that evening I didn't know who my partner was, I didn't know much about my daughter. That's so difficult," expressed Pillay.
Following the memory loss incident, Pillay says she had frequent panic attacks, and anxiety kicked in because she could not remember the last two months of her life. In a subsequent video, her boyfriend is seen spending time with her and reassuring her that he was her partner. Pillay mistook her partner as an Uber Driver and a house help once.
Pillay's daughter—who is from a previous relationship—was also kept at a distance from her. Pillay also shared how although she had no memory of motherhood, she could still feel the emotions. She said, "It was interesting because while I didn't always remember how to be a parent to her, so many of the emotions were still there. I always felt very protective of her, and I knew I loved her."
Social media users have compared Nesh and her partner's love story—especially how they rediscovered their love after Nesh's memory loss—with the 2004 romcom, 50 First Dates, or the 2012 movie, The Vow.
She now raises awareness on TikTok about her injury and posts honest confessions about her healing journey.
Additionally, she feels gratitude and has no intention of giving up. She concluded, "I am so grateful to be alive. So many people die from head injuries and don't get any memory back. So I'm just really looking at the bright side here."
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